Word to the Wise:

You are not finished when you lose. You are finished when you quit.

* * * * * * *

While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made him wilt.

Apparently, his 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin. Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased.

The minister’s son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his father always said: “Glory be unto the Father, and unto the Son, and into the hole he goes.”

* * * * * * *

It was Super Bowl Sunday and in our church the time for the collection of tithes and offerings was approaching.

The minister, a true sports enthusiast, reached into his pocket, took out a quarter, flipped it into the air, glanced at it as it landed, then in typical referee fashion joyfully announced: “The ushers have elected to receive!”

* * * * * * *

6. smilespicapra
“Wireless communication is nothing new. I’ve been praying for 75 years!”

* * * * * * *

A man owned a small farm in South Georgia. The Wage and Hour Department

suspected he was not paying proper wages to his help and sent an agent to

interview him.

Agent: “You just give me a list of your employees and tell me how much you

pay them.”

Farmer: “All right. I have a hired man. Been with me for three years. I pay

him $600 a week, plus room and board. I have a cook. She’s been here six

months. She gets $500 a week plus room and board.”

Agent (scribbling on note pad): “Anybody else?”

Farmer: “Yeah, there’s a half-wit here. Works about 18 hours a day. I

pay him ten dollars a week and give him all the Diet Coke he wants to drink.”

Agent: “Aha! I want to talk to that half-wit!”

Farmer: “You’re talkin’ to him.”

* * * * * * *

6. smilespicaprb
“Oh good… You’re not busy.”

* * * * * * *

~ The average life expectancy was 47.

~ Only 14 percent of the homes had a bathtub.

~ Only 8 percent of the homes had a telephone. A three-minute call from Denver to New York City cost $11.

~ There were only 8,000 cars and only 144 miles of paved roads.

~ The maximum speed limit in most cities was 10 mph.

~ Alabama, Mississippi, Iowa, and Tennessee were each more heavily populated than California. With a mere 1.4 million residents, California was only the 21st most populous state in the Union.

~ The average wage in the U.S. was 22 cents an hour. The average worker made between $200 and $400 per year.  A competent accountant could expect to earn $2,000 per year, a dentist $2,500 per year, a veterinarian between $1,500 and $4,000 per year, and a mechanical engineer about $5,000 per year.

~ More than 95 percent of all births took place at home.

~ Ninety percent of all physicians had no college education. Instead, they attended medical schools, many of which were condemned in the press and by the government as “substandard.”

~ Sugar cost four cents a pound. Eggs were 14 cents a dozen. Coffee cost 15 cents a pound.

~ Most women only washed their hair once a month and used borax or egg yolks for shampoo.

~ The tallest structure in the world was the Eiffel Tower.

* * * * * * *

6. smilespicaprc

 

 

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