A kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom as the children drew pictures. The teacher would occasionally walk around and see each child’s artwork. As she approached one little girl who was working especially hard, she asked what the drawing was.

The little girl told her: “I’m drawing God!”

“But sweetie,” the teacher replied, “no one actually knows what God looks like.”

Automatically, the little girl continued drawing and said, “Well, they certainly will in a minute!”

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A groom wanted to surprise his bride on their wedding day so he arranged with the bakery to have a Bible verse inscribed on the cake.

He chose 1 John 4:18, which reads: “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.”

 

But the baker, not being familiar with the Bible, got the verse wrong and on the day of his wedding the groom was surprised to find the cake inscribed with John 4:18, which read: “You are right when you say you have no husband. The fact is, you have had five husbands, and the man you now have is not your husband.”

—–

“Really? You got me an ice cream cake?!”

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Little Johnny asked his Grandma how old she was.

Grandma answered, “39 and holding.”

Johnny thought about that and then asked: “And how old would you be if you let go?”

—–

LETTER FROM COLLEGE…

 

Dear Dad,

$chool i$ really great. I’ve made lot$ of friend$ and am $tudying hard. With all my $tuff, I $imply can’t think of anything I need, $o if you would like you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you.

Love, your $on

 

REPLY FROM DAD…

Dear Son,

I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study hard eNOugh.

Love, Dad.

—–

“I know you told her not to play with her food, Michelle, but wow, Greta’s sure got a vision for the new church building!”

—–

A farmer asked the vet to come out to check on his favorite bull which wasn’t doing well at all.

 

After checking the bull’s vital signs, the vet reached in his black bag and pulled out a rather large pill. He forced open the bull’s mouth and crammed the pill down his gullet. Suddenly the bull jumped up and took off like a banshee, jumping every fence in his way.

The vet exclaimed, “Well, looks like your bull is better!”

The farmer replied, “Right. Now give me one of those pills so I can catch him!”

—–

A woman and her husband interrupted their vacation to go see a dentist. “I want a tooth pulled, and I don’t want any pain killers because I’m in a big hurry,” the woman said. “Just extract the tooth as quickly as possible, and we’ll be on our way.” The dentist was quite impressed. “You’re certainly a courageous woman,” he said. “Which tooth is it?” The woman turned to her husband and said, “Show him your tooth, dear.”

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