LIFE-Living In Freedom EVERYDAY (Part 1)
Most every human being will experience life’s hurt, pain, trauma, and abuse within
their lifespan. Life’s unpleasant experiences have a way of causing our emotions and memories to become damaged and unhealed. Usually, the first three emotions we are confronted with are guilt, shame, and worthlessness.
Let us take a look at the definitions of guilt, shame, and worthlessness.
Guilt-feeling of having done wrong or failed in an obligation; to make someone feel guilty, especially to induce them to do something against their will.
Shame– the uncomfortable feeling of guilt or of being ashamed arising from the consciousness/memory of something dishonorable, improper, ludicrous done by oneself or done by another person.
Worthlessness– the feeling of being unimportant; no value or worth; no meaning of life.
Now, let us determine the lens from which we are experiencing or viewing guilt, shame and worthlessness. Are we experiencing these emotions through the lens of the victim or the perpetrator, or possibly both—-the victim and the perpetrator?
Next, we have a few questions to ponder. Do we feel or are we carrying this guilt, shame, and worthlessness due to something we have done ourselves, or something someone has done to us? Are we carrying the perpetrators’ guilt and shame? Maybe
these emotions stem from others not believing us when we confide in them?
Last, write or journal about the time you first experienced these emotions/feelings. How old were you? Who was involved (friend, acquaintance, spouse, family member, stranger)? Where were you (home, party, school, etc.)? This exercise will be a major emotional healing milestone. After we have written down even the smallest of information, simply pray for God to send someone into your life who you can trust, and who will not be judgmental toward you. And yes, we know that the ultimate Counselor is Jesus, yet there may be times we need someone who is more tangible and knowledgeable regarding this emotional healing journey.
A most profound statement ever spoken was from Dr. James Hughes at Greater Life Church in Webster, Texas. He said, “God loves the victim. Yes, God truly loves the victim. And He loves the perpetrator. Jesus died for both.”
Feel free to use the contact information below for faith-based and confidential counseling.
Vickie Hodges is a UPCI licensed minister with 35 years of experience in Early Childhood Education and Brain Development Research. She is the author of LIFE (Living In Freedom EVERYDAY) Recovery Series. Vickie is a trainer, a speaker at
seminars, retreats, conferences, and college campuses. She can be reached at
281-433-4976 (text) or email VickieHodgesSharingLIFE@gmail.com.